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It is just water over the dam.

June 25, 2015

DSC06826I have heard that phrase “It’s just water over the dam” and it means don’t worry about it or I have forgotten about it.  Have you really sat and watched water going over the dam?  This photo is of a particular dam is where people fish.  People walk on the dam through the water to get to the other side.  Most of the people make it just fine.  Some people fall and over the dam they go.  It is dangerous as there is an under tow where the water falls.  There is power in the water.  It does wash things over but it isn’t easy if you are the thing being washed.

In some ways I think the phrase can really do more harm than good.  If there are problems, they need to be discussed.  if it you are your issue that is going “over the dam” so to speak, there is injury and hurt. Acknowledging the problem goes a long way to healing and being part of community.   Saying that something that really hurt doesn’t mean anything negates the damage done.  Conflict can be hard to deal with.

Why am I thinking about this?  We are in the summer and going to family reunions.  There are those people we can’t wait to see and then there are those people you dread to see.  Both groups are really nice people but their politics or the way they hold grudges can be a downer on the group.  People say “That was in the past” and that can be truth or a false statement.  Forgiveness is essential. Healing is important.  Remembering and giving time to people and issues help to make a community stronger rather than hurt it.  There are those that hang onto anger like a badge of honor and just won’t let it go and don’t want to heal or go past issues.

What do you need?  What does the community need.  Forgiving and healing is important.  This is not so much for other people but for YOU.  Carrying the burden of anger year after year will drag your present down.  Self care is important.  Water will go over a dam.  It is blind to hurt and love – it just is and is a force to be reckoned with.  It is not a force to be ignored.  Take time to see where you need to heal and forgive and where  you can offer that for the health of the people you gather with.  Love yourself.  Love your neighbor but also love your relatives!

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